Quarantine 13

Our daily lives have narrowed down to home, house, books, and for the lucky ones, the garden. This is especially true for people like me who are retired and consequently have no children who have to be home schooled. For working parents with young children, it is a different matter altogether and they experience situations they never imagined could happen. It must be a struggle to work from home on top of helping your kids with their online lessons and keep them happy. For the former category I belong to, nothing worth mentioning happens, only in our minds. We have time to reflect on all sorts of things, decide whether what we are doing is the right thing and worth-while. We cook and bake, try new dishes, write letters or emails, and even send real postcards to people who are in quarantine, who can’t be visited and have no access to computers or other digital media. A card with a real stamp! Not even easy to buy now that all post offices are closed and it is not always clear where we have to go for stamps. Of course, nowadays everything can be done at home and online: make a stamp, print it, stick it on the envelop and pay online. But there is no fun in that. Nothing beats a real stamp, I think.  It would be possible to start sewing a new dress, a summer skirt with a cheerful and bright pattern. But there isn’t much stimulus when we can’t have any parties, visitors, can’t see friends, family, and so on. Who is going to admire this new dress? Who cares anyway? And how long will this situation last? By then I might have put on lots of weight due to lack of exercise and the nice clothes might not fit me anymore. So there is this waiting game. Spring cleaning, repairing things which should have been repaired long ago, all that is possible. And it seems many people are doing it, clearing out their attics and cupboards, downsizing, scrubbing and painting. The long lines in front of DIY stores are proof of that. Just as well not everybody followed Mary Kondo’s example and got rid of all their books to replace them with e-books and e-zines and a digital newspaper. I like the feel of a real book, to turn its pages, to see how many pages there are. To browse back, put bookmarks between important pages, highlight certain lines or scribble comments in the margin. But in fact, all these “normal” things which are not spectacular, may be a blessing as well, providing us with a less hectic lifestyle. Less commuting, fewer unimportant meetings, more fun time with the family, board games after e-learning at home, homecooked meals now that fast food places and restaurants are closed. And weather permitting, finding the joy of just reading a book in a lounger in one’s own garden. And perhaps we will discover again what is really important: good health, friends and relationships, family, nature. It is not wealth and money.

Quarantine 12, A walk along the beach

A beautiful day, very cold but sunny. After an early excursion to the shops to restock my fridge, an intricate dance with a shopping cart as my partner along the narrow aisles to avoid any other potential infectious shopper, I went to the beach for a walk. Yesterday the beach I wanted to go to was closed off, police keeping watch so that no cars should find alternative routes. And if they managed to do so, they would have found all the parking lots closed and cordoned off. Today I chose another part of the beach and was luckier. The weather forecast isn’t so positive for tomorrow, and this may be the last sunny day for now in a remarkable string of perfectly sunny but cold days. I had figured out that it might be relatively quiet as it was still early, which was indeed the case. It may also have been due to the very cold wind of course, which I did not notice till I turned back and faced North. 

 

 Looking towards Scheveningen

 

 

I was afraid the fine sand which was chased across the beach by the strong winds would damage my camera, so I did not use it much. But the wind and the waves at least swept all the cobwebs away and cleared my head – and made a mess of my hair.

One of the funniest things I saw was a group of sandpipers, huddling together in a long double line, facing the wind. Every so often a few birds at the top of the line would turn around and run to the back of the line to be out of the wind, sheltered by the other birds. I did not have much of a chance to film them, which was a pity, for they run very fast on their tiny legs. I had never seen them do this before. Usually they forage in groups, busily moving along the breaking wavelets at the flood line, trying to find some fresh delicacy. Seeing them like this was new for me.

Sandpipers

Quarantine 11, Lepers

We are all considered lepers till proven otherwise.

It is very hard to be in quarantine, especially for those who are single and live alone. No touch, no shoulder to lean on, nobody to cook for or talk to. Solitary confinement is supposed to be a very cruel and harsh punishment. But that is what has happened. People flock to churches when there is a crisis like this. At least, they used to. Being a member of a church one would suppose the church would provide comfort in the midst of all this uncertainty. However, also the churches leave their flock to struggle alone.  We have to find our own way, our own personal relationship with God. We are often told that without a family, a church family, one can’t experience one’s faith, or one’s faith cannot grow. Faith is partly a relationship with God through our fellow beings. We are in it together. Isn’t it strange then that in a crisis like this we are left in the cold and even churches close their doors? Our government (this of course depends on the country one lives in) has left us some possibilities. 30 people are allowed to attend a church service, with restrictions of distance, hygienic measures, no touching etc. That can be done. Why then do most churches prefer to close their doors? It may be the only contact – not physically of course – and comfort some of us can have during these isolating times.

Quarantine 10, Nelly's farewell service

We had the farewell service for Nelly on her birthday, an intimate and moving thanksgiving for her life. Nelly had a small family, which was helpful under the circumstances as we could have a small choir as well. The total number of people present did not exceed 30. Nelly apparently had prepared herself for this, for she had chosen the hymns and anthem she would like to be sung. We are grateful that we could have the service and the music she had wished for. Perhaps, being with a small number of people, any service feels more intimate. For us as a choir, Nelly’s passing is the end of an era. As mentioned before, she had been a choir member for almost 60 years. With Wies, who passed away a few years earlier, she formed a strong team. They were the mistresses of the robes, always seeing to it that every chorister was provided with a fitting robe, mending, lengthening and shortening them as required. They told us to launder our whites so that they looked clean and fresh at Christmas and Easter. They saw to it that we wore black shoes and no sneakers, and that the men wore a white shirt with a tie underneath their robes, or a white scarf. They were a formidable pair, and also organized the choir flea market, an annual highlight. After Wies died, Nelly could no longer do this alone, or at all, as her health had always been precarious. But she never stopped making coffee and tea in the  break during choir practices, or feeling responsible for the robes.  We will all miss her, each in our own way. But within its limitations, the farewell service was moving, intimate and graceful, thanks to Andrew and Christina and all the others who made it possible in these unusual times.

 She crossed that bridge away from us towards the light, and was laid to rest in Westduin, a very peaceful cemetery.

In Paradisum deducant te Angeli

Quarantine 9

A 3-month verdict of solitary confinement for those living alone.

Today will be the funeral of a beloved choir member. She was the choir. It will be so different without her. And we can’t give her the farewell she so deserves. Probably she wouldn’t have minded. She was modest, did not like to make a fuss. I am glad she doesn’t have to live through this lock down. She lived alone, and wasn’t in very good health. We then depend on friends, on social contacts, on the church and for her and myself the church choir.  A number of the choir, her second family, is allowed to sing, unrobed. We will sit quite far from each other. But we will do our utmost to sing for her as well as we can with depleted numbers.

Quarantine 8, Life in the Time of Corona

New measures, quite shattering if one lives alone, as I do. I thought I could handle it, but realise that because I live alone, I always have to go out to meet people, to see things, to have company. I go to choir practice, sing every Sunday in the church choir, go to museums with a friend, go for a walk on the beach, alone or with others. This time, leading up to Easter, the most sacred time in the Christian year, is usually full of music, Passions, contemplative and finally happy music, singing in Haarlem and The Hague. Besides, we have the three choir practices for our cathedral week in England in July. Not just an enjoyable time because of the music we practice, but we also meet with friends we may not have seen for a long time. No choral Festival, although that may take place in June and perhaps by then we may have more freedom. But travel might still be out of bounds. At the Choral Festival we are trained by a professional musician from England. Is travel for this choirmaster possible? Are we allowed to travel to England in July when we are supposed to sing the services for a week in Portsmouth Cathedral? Yes, we are allowed to go for a solitary walk. If we live with other family members, we may even walk together. But for singles like me, there is no chance of company. If we live alone, we live for the moments when we can meet loved ones who are not necessarily family. Till June 1^st this is not allowed. Is it more dangerous for (elderly) singles to have contact with friends as there is a chance of being infected by this nasty virus, or is it worse when we have to live for three months without any human contact? Not to be touched, no shoulder to lean on, no hugs. The only time we can meet with just a few people is at funerals, not exactly the events which might cheer us up. And even then, no handshakes, keeping a distance of 1,5 meters, no moment together with something to drink, just no socializing at all. At least in the Decameron people were quarantined together. And in Love in the time of Cholera, people did touch and did make love. It will pass, of course it will, but when??? And will our friends come back to us?

Yes, Anne Franck lived in a very cramped space for a long time with family members, too many, with fear for their lives. It was worse, far worse as FB points out to us. But she wasn’t alone. It is a false comparison. It was wartime, but we live in a time of peace, and our freedom now seems to have turned into an open prison. So, what is it to be: Spring clean the house? Cook fancy meals for ourselves if we can get hold of the ingredients? Sew a new wardrobe in the hope we’ll survive this virus? Declutter the house? Tend the garden? Knit? Take a free online course in one of the many courses on offer? Or perhaps write stories or even a novel, as Camus, Marquez and Boccaccio did. After all, writing is something one has to do in isolation.

We are of course not alone in this. Let us all write that novel we always dreamt of. Or find out that sadly we have no talent and tick it off our bucket list for good. We’ll get through this, with or without our novel.

Quarantine 7

Everybody has heard enough about quarantine, although not everybody has taken it seriously. Why? Because a virus can’t be seen? Because it seems so unreal? Like the scenario of a horror film? I think if we do not take it seriously, it is going to be a horror film, but a real one we have to live through and not just watch.

 A white carpet of anemones

 A late daffodil amongst the anemones

 celandine

I must admit I did go for a walk as well yesterday, like so many others, lured outside by the beautiful day. I started from home, walking through connecting parks in a circle. It wasn’t at all busy, as the parks and pieces of parkland are not very well known, except to dog owners. Only the last park I walked through was crowded, and I was amazed that people were sitting on the grass in groups. Also youngsters. Do they think they are untouchable?  So today I just enjoyed my garden, which is facing south and with the sun shining in a perfectly blue sky, it is a small piece of paradise. I know I am luckier than most having a garden. But I live in a suburb where the majority of the inhabitants have a garden. So it is not as hard for us to stay at home as for people cooped up in a small apartment without a balcony.

 Fritillarias

A white carpet of wood anemones

Anyway, the garden is waking up, and the colours are surprising. So to cheer everybody up, I will post a few pictures. Also pictures of the fritillaria, which I found in a small park alongside a pond, where some people claim to have seen a kingfisher. I haven’t been so lucky, but at least the fritillarias warmed my heart.

Of course, life is a bit complicated, more so for families with working parents and small children. For me it is easier. Tutoring a high school student via WhatsApp – the only medium we both shared – was a new experience. Especially as he forgot that you can’t eat your breakfast in school either during a lesson! His concentration wasn’t optimal. Having long phone conversations with friends instead of seeing them, and Skyping with dear friends far away is a different way of socialising. I also went to church to take part in a service which was recorded. Two priests, a reader, the organist and choirmaster, and the choir, that was all. We, choristers, were spread out far apart, and formed the congregation, as well as the choir. I wondered how we would sound, being so far apart. But in fact, the result isn’t so bad. Except for the quality of the recording, which could be improved.  But this was a first, and will probably not be the last time we have to worship as a congregation in this manner. We also prepared for the funeral service of our dear friend Nelly, which will take place this coming Tuesday. The choir will be so different without her. May she rest in peace.

 In the garden

The new leaves of the pieris