Life and death

Is there anything worse in the world than sitting at the bedside of a dying parent? I am sure a dying child is more heartbreaking. Children shouldn't die, but usually they accept death quite naturally. They know they can no longer live, accept the inevitable, and let go. Not so with adults. A parent who has always lived life to the full, enjoyed it, woke up each morning thanking God for a new day, rain or shine, for being alive, a parent like that, independent, strong-willed, creative, doesn't want to let go. And so the struggle is prolonged. Dying isn't easy, isn't at all romantic in spite of what some poets may say. Dying is hard work. It is like closing down a factory. Not all the valves are closed at the same time, but the taps are turned one by one, a gradual process. It is the same for the human body. Memory may or may not go first, the ability to walk, to steer one's feet in the right direction. Muscles waste, organs no longer function, sometimes the heart keeps beating in a skeletal frame. The pain gets worse, the fight for breath as the lungs fill with fluid, the hallucinations, the fear.

         And then peace, the spirit leaving the body behind, which lies there motionless. The first day the body seems to be unsure of its status. The spirit is still hovering over it, reluctant to go. Till it becomes an empty shell, the hull of a chrysalis after the butterfly has escaped to freedom, spreading its wings. Why should one be afraid of a dead body? It is a pod, a coat, left behind, no longer needed. And yet, the coat was so characteristic of the person who wore it. If we keep a wake in the days before the funeral and observe this body, we gradually realise that we do not bury a person, we bury his earthly shell, his coat which is useless without the person who wore it. Then it is far easier to let go. After all, we do not bury the spirit, which returns to its eternal home, carried on angels' wings to the throne of God, the Creator of all.

         Of course it is often argued that spirit and body are one, inseparable. Here during our earthly existence that is quite true. We wouldn't be anybody without our physical appearance. But there is a different truth, there is more than just this body. Leaving it behind is hard and painful. But it is the way to a new existence.