Sadness and loss, a few random thoughts.

Why is that when we most need to be cherished, held, comforted, we withdraw and seem to build a wall around us. A wall which prevents others who might be able to help us to reach us. We need those comforting arms around us, but don't know how to ask for it. Or don't dare to ask for it. It is after all a sign of weakness, this neediness. And that is something we can't afford to be, weak. Deep sadness and loneliness can do that to us. Moreover grief  does not attract people but puts them off. Eyes which are dull and don't sparkle don't invite loving arms. Is it best to retire, just withdraw within oneself for some time till one feels a bit better? Stay with a far-away friend, not telling anybody where one is, just trying to keep alive, eating, sleeping, walking, no obligations, no motion, a stillness, living in limbo, till the clouds are lifted and one is ready to face the world again, fight the odds, enjoy life anew and its many gifts. Monasteries fulfil a need in that respect. Being part of a regular life of dedication and devotion, not having to decide when to do what, not having to bother about meals or mundane tasks, may have a healing influence. Sometimes we can't mourn or be dejected because a particular loss is not seen by others as such. It leads to feelings of guilt, which is not very helpful either.