Digital Joys

Let me set the scene: I have two old laptops and two printers, a laser printer and a photo printer. All those machines are old, some older than others, and none of them works correctly. That is where the saga begins.

The laser printer: I had never been able to connect it via Wi-Fi with any of my laptops. Nor had my nerdy whizz kid of a nephew. But it worked if I connected the printer via a USB-cable with the laptop. So far so good. It meant of course that printer and laptop had to sit next to each other, which was inconvenient as they were in different rooms for practical reasons. Because of the inconvenience I had not used it too often, and when I tried to get it to work again a year ago or so and fed it a bunch of bright white sheets of paper, it started gobbling up sheet after sheet, spewing hem out without printing anything on them at all. It was unstoppable, just like the porridge of the sorcerer’s apprentice. I decided to forget about it.

The photo printer: It was excellent, printed beautiful photo’s on A4 photopaper, and I loved it. Till Windows decided to update its system, after which the laptop could no longer connect with the printer as there was no driver compatible with the Windows update. E-mails and phone calls to the company which had produced the printer did not help. I was told that it was not worth making a new driver for this printer as the lifespan of a printer was limited, so why not buy a new one? I told them that I was very happy with that machine and that it still worked beautifully, so why a new one? The long and the short was that my oldest laptop, let me call it D, could still connect with the printer via USB. But both internal disks of D were full and it was difficult to clean them and make space. In the meantime, D no longer connected to the internet. So, I worked on the latest laptop, let me call it L, which was also old but not as old as D, transferred files I needed in print to a USB-stick, take that to D, connect D with the printer and hey presto, or not so presto, I could print. Not ideal, and a bit time consuming, but I lived with it. Besides, it kept me fit as I had to go up and down the stairs every time I needed the printer. A matter of logistics. This might have gone on for a long time, if not….

Last week I badly needed to print a label. So, I did what I always do, created the label on L, copied it to a USB stick, went upstairs, connected it to D and connected D with the photo printer. All very simple and standard procedure – for me! Alas, the photo printer threw out a blank page. This meant cleaning the printer heads or whatever they are called. But it did not work very well and I had to do it 8 or 9 times. Meanwhile I got a warning that some colour cartridges were by now also empty as testing takes a lot of ink apparently. I did not need colour, but if a colour cartridge is empty, I can’t use black either. A sales trick of the printer company? It meant I could not do anything, as I did not have the right cartridges to replace them. And if I did, I still had no guarantee that the printer would work.  I did my sums and worked out that it might be cheaper (as those cartridges are expensive) and better to buy a new printer, one which could communicate with both my laptops, via wi-fi. So, with regret I said goodbye to my old photo printer, which had served me so well.

As I had to wait for a new printer till after the weekend, I thought of the neglected laser printer and decided to give it a last try before pitching it out as well. It took a lot of time to connect it, but after carefully reading the instructions again, and connecting it with a USB cable, it worked to my utter amazement and printed a faultless page. My joy did not last for long, as I got the warning that the cartridge was empty and had to be replaced. I think that not having used it for so long might have affected the cartridge. By now it was late Saturday afternoon and I couldn’t think of a place where I could buy a cartridge.  Fortunately, I remembered there used to be a computer shop tucked away in a narrow alley. So, I went there and lo and behold, the shop was open and they had the desired cartridge for the laser printer. Back home I put it in and tried the printer, but the prints came out faulty. Hoping that it might help, I first uninstalled the whole programme, and then installed it again, and even managed to connect the printer via Wi-Fi with my laptop D. Naturally I then installed the programme for the printer also on the other old but newer laptop L, and it worked!  So far so good. I could print again! For a non-beta, this was quite an achievement.

However, I still wanted a new photo printer, a multifunctional one with a scanner included. After some research I ordered one online which I had to collect after the weekend in a shopping mall. I did that on the following Monday, not realising how heavy it was to carry it from one end of the large shopping mall to the parking lot at the very opposite end of the mall. Once home the whole process of unpacking, installing and connecting it via Wi-Fi with both laptops started again. Who says working with computers saves time??? But I need a printer, have to fill out my tax return which can only be done online and that has to be done this month. No more paper involved at all.

Well, you think I am all set now and ready to go. However, my newest old laptop, L, is having signs of onsetting Parkinson, getting the shivers if more than one programme is open, and refusing to do anything at all, even shutting down. So, both laptops have to go. A neat, small, and light new laptop is waiting to be installed. And the rigmarole of connecting it with both printers is starting all over again. And that without a CD-ROM drive. I wonder…

Oh, and did I mention that the screen of my 6-year-old telly is showing a black halo in the corners, which is steadily growing? I can’t read the subtitles anymore, nor the menu. There is no cure for it, so I am waiting for the arrival of a new tv which I have ordered, a small one. I will have it installed, as I have wasted enough time installing machines.

Do you remember the time when a letter was handwritten, when banking was done by going to an actual building called a Bank, or by writing a cheque and posting it in a letterbox? The time when there were plenty of letterboxes, and helpdesks with real people on the line at the other end, instead of robots who give you a menu to choose from which seems endless. A sure way of putting down the phone and giving up. Especially when you wanted to ask what to do as your computer was down and not working, and they tell you after having been connected with a chain of ‘people’, all ‘experts’, that you can find all the information needed on their website, which of course you couldn’t access in the first place!! Infuriating. Give me paper, pen and ink, and a real human being for any instructions or questions. Oh boy, how happy I would be.

Don’t tell me Windows will update their system again soon. Not now that I have invested money (although I did not buy expensive products), energy and precious days of my life in connecting all those machines via Wi-Fi. I would need a wailing wall!