Monday 4 January 2016

In Memoriam

Sunday January 3th 2016

A New Year which already brings sad tidings. Bill Fain died yesterday. The memorial service will be on January 17th at his hotel in Nevada. He was a big man with a big heart, a man of many talents, and a very generous man. Although after the two years when I took care of his daughter I only saw him a few times, he influenced my life enormously. Because of the two years I spent with them, I decided to study English literature and linguistics instead of French. He introduced me to expensive hotels, took me out, trusted me with his only child, and treated me as part of his family, as another daughter. With him I travelled to Paris, Germany, Salzburg. I was taken to concerts during the Salzburger Festspiele.  It has resulted into a lifelong friendship with Stephanie, her husband Bob, and Janice and Bill.
It is sad to have to say goodbye to someone who has been such a positive influence in my life. It seems the end of an area. Not on the same scale as losing my parents, but still it is a loss and leaves a void.
I was invited to spend Christmas in Washington with Stephanie and her family. I am very sorry I did not accept the invitation. I could have extended my stay and could have flown out to Nevada for the memorial service. Which I can still do of course, but it is a long way.

New Year is such a strange phenomenon. Everybody is happy, wishing each other ecstatically a Happy New Year. As if there is a real difference between December 31st and January 1st. In fact there isn’t. A day ends, a new day begins, as it always does, whether it is June, July or the end of December. So no new beginnings, no clean slate, no good intentions. Life and death do not observe New Year’s Eve. Accidents happen, people die, get killed, whatever, hours after they have wished each other all the best for the new year. There is no such thing as a new year. Each school year is a new year, but that begins at the end of the summer season.
Bill died after a long, productive and very exciting life. He died at home, which is a blessing not everybody experiences. We all like to die in our own bed, in our own home. But one needs to be cared for by loved ones, one needs to be related to somebody who cares and loves you, otherwise it is impossible. I know his family loved to give him the care he needed, being such a generous man all through his life.
I will miss him. Or perhaps I will miss this feeling that somewhere in Nevada there is this person who would always welcome me, and who cared for me from the moment he entrusted me with the care of his daughter.


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