I wrote my last post some three weeks ago. In the meantime, several things have changed, but some haven’t and are still very hard to live with. At least, for singles in particular. I have been to the hairdresser’s, seen my GP, seen a specialist in a hospital, been to a museum, used public transport with a face mask, went to the dentist and on a second occasion to the dental hygienist. I even had a meal in a museum cafe. So far, so good. But there is still the 1,5-meter distance rule, it is still not allowed to travel with more than two people in a car, unless belonging to the same household, and then even 3 people are allowed. But for me, being single, not much is allowed in terms of company, social contact, travelling together or even renting a holiday cottage together. The whole idea that any physical human contact might be harmful and is therefore forbidden, scares me. Where is my freedom as an individual? Why can I not travel to see dear friends? Isn’t loneliness far more harmful than physical contact? And isn’t it true that babies who lack physical contact, are scarred for life? And is it constitutional, lawful? I object to any law they want to make regarding the “new normal”. The new normal is abnormal, is detrimental to our lives and health. And then all the joys in life, the things which give life meaning and keep us going? What about the arts, music, museums, concerts, the theatre? After my husband died music kept me going, helped me to enjoy life again. Especially church music, the fellowship with other choristers, our festivals and singing weeks in British cathedrals. Singing is no longer allowed, not even congregational singing in church services, which in any case are limited to a small number of parishioners. Isn’t faith, the community one finds in church, the church family, the one thing which is really important in times like these? As well as singing together?
After three
months of abstinence we have started our choir practices again. Not in a normal
way. There is no such thing as socializing, no coffee or tea break. We can’t
practice in our choir pews, standing together, but are spread out all over nave
of the church, far apart. But it is a beginning. Although in the church services
which have started, only two choristers are allowed to sing, and those two far
apart. But we decided to go for it, study beautiful music for evensongs, record
them and put them online. It keeps us going as a choir, it helps people to
enjoy services they used to come to, and so we are all better off.
Today it
was my turn, together with a fellow chorister, a soprano with a very good voice
and a professional singer, to sing in the second service we have had so far. We
were helped out by the organ, a cello and two violas, which was great! All of
them professionals. It is odd to sing hymns without the congregation joining in,
but still an absolute joy to be able to sing in a service again, albeit as almost
a soloist. I could not have dreamt of that as a child! We sang a moving anthem,
the bass and tenor parts being filled in by the strings, us two women singing
the soprano and alto part. Such a joy, such
a comfort, far more than mere words.
Of course
this time also brings new opportunities: to declutter one’s house, to change
things one always wanted to do and never came round to doing, to go for walks,
enjoy the garden – after working in it! In that respect I am so fortunate having
a garden and a spacious house, as well as living near the sea which is another bonus.
The sea is
different every time I go. It may be smooth, reflecting the sky and the setting
sun, painting the water in shades of orange, salmon and purple. It can be wild
when there is wind, with foam crested waves, angrily breaking on the shore, and
rippled puddles. Gulls may be noisy and fly about along the flood line, waiting
for food cast ashore by the waves. Or they may sit quietly in a group, making
ready for the night, all heads ducked into their feathers facing the same
direction. The wind and the waves will cleanse our heads and thoughts whatever
the weather. We seem tiny compared to the forces of nature, the water we can’t
restrain, the wind we can’t keep in control either.
That applies
to a garden as well. It changes every day. Flowers bloom, wilt and die, new
flowers and plants burst into bloom, an ever-repeating joy. Whatever we do, plants
may seed itself in unexpected places where we did not intend them to be. Others
may be a joy one year and just disappear without a trace the next. Whatever we
do, nature goes its own mysterious way.
And now summer has arrived, and all our holiday plans have gone with the wind. But there is always the sea, intriguing, sometimes calm and peaceful, sometimes lethal anda threatening. Love and hate, or rather fear, go hand in hand. Sailors drown, so do swimmers and able-bodied surfboarders, lured into dangerous situations and places. The sea is a force we can’t tame nor contain, although we try. It makes us aware of our helplessness and insignificance in the whole scheme of nature, it widens our perspective.
As a contrast
there is the garden, a place of retreat, a bower, shielding us from the outside
world. In summer a riot of colour and fragrances, a place of shade and sunshine,
a mini world with the lily pond and the brightly coloured fish, the bird bath,
the pecking order amongst the various birds, a world of predators as well. But
for me a place of safety and contentment.
No comments:
Post a Comment